First Day Funk

First Day. How will i even begin to explain my first day at the hospital. Like what Cady Heron said at the movie, Mean Girls, "The first day of duty was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur." I am lost. Completely LOST. I don't know what i'm saying. I don't know what i'm doing. I acted and looked like an awkward-looking-IDIOT. I just stand there awkwardly and staring at the nurses blankly. I feel so stupid and dumb. ='( I suddenly feel so small and realized that my years are so behind me. I feel so withdrawn because of my batch and my age and my hospital experience. I realized how much time i have wasted. Years that i should be growing personally and professionally. I wanted to blame someone else. But the blame is all on me. ='( I feel so insecure. I just hope that i will be able to prove myself and everybody else of my capabilities and skills. This is my last shot. If ever i fail on this, i don't know what else i'm gonna do. I just pray that God would help me go through this. ='(


Ciao for now.


love,